Your Parents Won't Give Up And You Won't Give In.
As a kid, when your parents won't give up, and you won't give in, what happens is that the situation becomes sort of a stand-off or a genuine conflict. A point of major resistance, where all forward motion comes to a halt for you as the kid. A point where all of your parent's assisted progress is stopped, where all real growth freezes for you as a kid.
This type of situation is a problem caused by things functioning clearly the wrong “way”. Somebody is not doing what they are supposed to be doing. Or they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, in and of a bad “way”. Either in the “way” that they are communicating, or in the “way” that they are not communicating. This kind of problem could only be caused by the kids' end of the relationship. A problem that would not be if you, as a kid, did what you were supposed to do, which is to follow as you are learning to lead. This situation is occurring as sort of a tug of war. A situation where either both people are pulling against each other, or each one is pushing up against one another, at the same time. Both situations will cause progress for you as a kid, to come to a stop.
In this type of situation, if you want things to get better everyone, that is part of the stand-off of conflict and resistance, has to go back to their proper roles and positions. This is in order to get things going again. And in parent-to-kid relationships, it is the parent who must do the guiding and the leading to the best of their ability. It is the role of the kid or child to listen, learn, practice and follow, to the best of their ability, not the other way around. Someone has to do the leading and someone has to do the following. It is the only way to get the progress, motion, and healthy growth for you, as a kid, back on track.
This is because two leaders will lead away from each other and two followers will follow into each other. The parent is trying to cause healthy growth, change, and progress in their child or kid who, clearly to the parent, doesn't yet know the secret knowledge of adults. Not the other way around. If the kid is trying to change or fix the parent, they are going about it the wrong “way”, which is more proof that the kid doesn't know the secret knowledge of adults. The child is not supposed to step out of their place, put their foot down and try to grow, correct or change their parents into the people that they want them to be. It just won't work that way. You as a kid will suffer great losses just for trying it. It is the wrong “way” to try to get what you, as a kid want. If you are fighting and resisting your parents guidance by listening to yourself for guidance or worse, listening to the voice of one or more of your friends, then at home where your naturally placed guide is, your parents, there will be big problems and conflict waiting there for you, or any kid in that type of situation. By resisting your parents or better said “trying to lead the leaders”, you are wasting what little time you have to grow to be able to master the secret knowledge of adults. This time should be used by you and your parents to show and tell you how and what to do to help and assist you to becoming a fully grown big person. A person who can get whatever they want and need of their own good work and efforts with full awareness of the secret knowledge of adults. While you as a child are resisting being guided and lead, you are wasting valuable training time that you can't get back. This is because time, once it has passed, it's gone. It's history.
With respects to time, the parents came first and then the kids followed, never the other way around. Stand-offs don't make any sense and, as a fact, it does take a certain degree of high intelligence to be able to see the value of staying in your place and doing your part as your parent's kid, or child, big or small. And sadly, some people just aren't smart enough to actually know better, which does explain why we see, meet and hear about so many messedup, screwed-up and poorly functioning people in the world. The fact is that your intelligence has to be able to outrun and overpower your immense ego. Either way it is important to avoid conflict as they, your parents, guide and lead you through life. With what little time you have as a kid, to be a youngster, especially if you don't want to become one of those lost adults in your own future, you should choose for yourself to listen.
You see, you will basically be a child, or kid, in society for eighteen years or so and then, if you're fortunate, you'll be a grown-up for the next seventy years or so, give or take a few years. But to your parents you'll be their grown-up kids or children for life. By listening and following the guidance and leadership of your parents, you are learning from their examples how to someday take the lead in your own life and family through that secret knowledge of adults. Because later on in life, when you are all grown up and successful, you may, at some point, find yourself being followed by young people that will be called your "kids". They, as kids, will need you to guide and protect them using the secret knowledge of adults that you, as a grown-up, will have already mastered. Knowledge that is invisible to them. They as kids will challenge you to give up as if they have that secret knowledge of adults already, when they clearly don't.
Would you, as a parent, give up on your kids because they decided to act and pretend to be the parent all up in your face?. . . and neither will your parents.
So, if you have lost your place or your way, just stop and get back on track and play your position, as a kid, in the family. Even though your parents are not perfect, they are there to lead and guide you with the secret knowledge of adults that they possess and their life experience as a bonus. So get good grades, eat smart, do your chores and look and smell good. Do this regularly, so that when you are all grown up you can actually have the full and wonderful life that you may dream of. A life that your parents are secretly wishing for you to have.
Title: A-C-T Like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K Like a Parent
Author: C.S. Whitehurst
Genre: Nonfiction self-help
Just for kicks, have you ever wondered what your parents really want from you in life? Is it you, or do your parents want you to have no real fun? On any given day, do you want to make your parents proud of you and still do what makes you feel really happy within yourself? Of course you do! But the real question has always been, and still is…how? How can we actually get this done?
Well, with A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent, a.k.a “the child-part consoler”, you will get past common misunderstandings by learning how to truly talk, hear, and listen to your parents, guardians or caregivers instead of feeling like you have to run to friends to find some sense of acceptance, understanding, and real connection.
In this book, chock-full of questions and answers gotten directly from the source, you’ll learn what your parents, guardians or caregivers really expect of you—and maybe you’ll even find out how to explain to them what you really expect from them! Not that this book could ever replace a parent, because it can not. But when it comes to openly communicating certain key ideas, this book comes really close.
This tell-all guide contains lots of enlightening explanations and helpful answers to many common kid questions like:
- What do my parents really want from me?
- Why do my parents do what they do and say what they say?
- What do I really need to know about my parents’ parenting skills?
- How can I keep my parents happy with me?
- How can I help my parents to help me?
- How can I get what I want from my parents every time?
The information in this book will help you and yours to start to see your parents, not as the enemy, but as the caring human beings they really are, and take the first step toward family unity, understanding, growth, success, and happiness! Both you and your parents really deserve this, and with this book, A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent, you and your parents can actually achieve this.
Katherine Shears is a mom, graduate of Strayer University, and an executive consultant, who is dedicated to bettering the social function and overall visibility of all she encounters. She is a deep thinker with an open mind who stays on the cutting edge of learning, having read over one hundred self-help titles and counting.